Thoughts on Parenting

Brett and I went to a parenting seminar recently and listened to the thoughts and advice of John Rosemond, who could just as easily be considered nuts as well as brilliant. Some of his comments were over the top, but as with any seminar, you take what you like from it and you open up your perspective if nothing else. I enjoyed getting a fresh perspective on the hardest job in the world! He mentioned a few things that I thought were both accurate and valuable, so I thought I'd share.

1. Modern mothers are so involved in creating a perfect life for their kids that they have neglected their own identities and interests. They have reduced what might be a rich, diverse and interesting life to the last two to three years of motherhood. They tend to talk only about their kids and not about more "interesting" things. This is a little blunt and possibly offensive for some, but I find some truth to what he proposes. We need to remember who we are, what makes us interesting and what we need to feel fulfilled in life. Ask yourself this: the last time you meet with a friend of yours who is also a parent, did you talk about your kids the whole time or something more "interesting"???

2. A parent should be like the CEO of a company. Keep his/her eye on the prize (raising a kind, respectful, generous, well-adjusted and productive adult). Make tough decisions and stick by them. And most importantly stay above the fray by not letting himself/herself be drug down into the nagging and arguing. Don't get involved in non-productive exchanges. Stop trying to get your kids to understand your logic and decisions and JUST MOVE FORWARD!

3. Mothers and fathers need to focus on their marriage and their relationship and put that first. He asked an interesting question to those of us at the conference. What percentage of the day do you consider yourself a mother/father and what percentage of the day are you a husband/wife? I answered about 90% mother! Yikes!

I have found some of his points very helpful in reducing my stress and managing the everyday life of a mother of two.