A Tale of Two Toilets and The Lazy Grasshopper Plumber

Would you like to hear a story?  Or two? 

A Tale of Two Toilets

Once up on a time there was a toilet, a $98 toilet purchased from Home Depot.  We chose this charming toilet to come home with us because it was dual flush, all white, nice and tall, attractive, and inexepensive.  We decided to choose “comfort height” toilets, because, well, who doesn’t want to be comfortable on the toilet?  We bought three of these toilets and our plumber installed one of them in the kids’ bath, while the other two sat for weeks in the garage waiting for our negligent plumber to come back and finish his job.  One night, the night before the plumber was set to come back and (theoretically) finish his job, Claire was working late cleaning the house and she needed to use the restroom.  So, she tried the new toilet, and the minute she sat down (well, sat up, actually), she gasped and realized she hated the toilet!  (Sorry to use such a strong word here, but hate is the only way to say it, folks.)  Her feet did not even touch the floor, they dangled like a little child’s.  And the toilet rocked and made a horrible sound as she sat down and stood up.  And upon closer inspection there was only the tiniest little bit of water in the bowl.  And the flush was so wimpy.  Ahhh!

So early the next morning, Claire rushed around town trying to find three suitable and affordable replacement toilets.  $600 and three stores later, three new toilets that were NOT comfort height and were NOT dual flush sat in the garage, ready to be installed.  Claire was sad to pay $100 for a toilet and $100 to the plumber to install it only to have to pay him again to uninstall it and reinstall another and have to donate that first toilet to charity.  So, her new $200 toilet really cost probably $600 or so when it was all said and done.

When Claire left the house at midnight last night, all three of the standard height toilets were installed in their new homes (by the plumber who was also still there at midnight working to finish a job that should have been done days ago), but one toilet was rocking and two were leaking, so ending to this story is yet to be written.

The moral of this story is: comfort height is only comfortable if you are six feet tall.

The Lazy Grasshopper Plumber

You have heard about the ant and the grasshopper, right?  The ant worked diligently collecting food for the winter while the grasshopper relaxed and sang and procrastinated, pretending that summer might never end.  Remember that story?  Well, we met a grasshopper during our remodel: our plumber.  Our plumber is just like that lazy little grasshopper and he waits until the last minute to do anything.

Last week Brett sent out an email outlining all the work that needed to be done by each tradesperson this week and the days it needed to be done in order to get our inspections done in time to move in on Friday.  He made sure to resend the email a second time and to make sure no one had issues with the schedule or thought it couldn't be done.  "No problem," said the grasshopper plumber, "Tell Brett NOT TO WORRY.  I will have everything done before Wednesday.  No problem!"  But, on Monday the grasshopper plumber decided not to show up until 1:00 pm to start his work. Then he decided to leave for the day at 3:00 pm, knowing that he had to do the following before Tuesday evening: uninstall one toilet (see above!), install 3 toilets, install 2 showers, install one tub, install three sinks, install 4 faucets, install one garbage disposal, install one dishwasher.  His clients nearly had a heart attack when the realized that he wasted his entire day doing nothing and that not one single appliance was installed.  But, like the wise little ant, the homeowners just kept working at their jobs until late at night, hoping the plumber would wise up and get his work done before move-in.  On Tuesday, the grasshopper plumber didn't come to work until after noon again! And with all that work to do!  Can you imagine?

And what do you think happened next?  What always happens to procrastinators?  The unexpected!  The grasshopper plumber got a phone call that a family member had passed away!  And the funeral was set for Thursday!  Oh, no!  And all that work that hadn't been done!  Now, he realized that he had been lazy and not done his job.  And how could he get it all done and make the funeral?  Remember, he had promised, "Don't worry!  I'll get it all done.  NO PROBLEM!"  Oh, the plumber had quite a dilemma!  So, the grasshopper plumber had to work until the wee hours of the morning to try to finish the job he had avoided doing and was already a day past his deadline on.  He was so tired from cramming three days of work into one, that he fell asleep in his car after midnight and didn't wake up until 5:00 am.  And with a job still unfinished and a funeral in a few hours. What will he do?  How will he fulfill his obligations?  The diligent little ants offered to help the lazy grasshopper late last night, but it was no use, he did not want any help and was too tired to work.

We will see what happens to the lazy grasshopper and the nice little ants.  But, do you think that grasshopper will learn his lesson about procrastinating?  I doubt it.

The moral of the story is: do not put off until tomorrow what can be done today (and thoroughly research your plumber before choosing one!)

Thank you for joining us for story time today.  Stay tuned!